GPS – The Wise Counselor, Adults

by Rick Shrader

Note: This series will consist of five phases: Created-parenting, Pre-parenting, Parenting, Post-parenting, Grand-parenting. Each of these phases will have four sections.

Section 4. The Wise Counselor—Adults

“Praise the LORD! Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, Who delights greatly in His commandments. His descendants will be mighty on earth; The generation of the upright will be blessed” (Psa. 112:1-2). Your children are middle aged and your grandchildren are becoming adults. The time has passed like a “watch in the night” and you are praying to God, “teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom” (Psa. 90:4, 12). But the questions are coming whether you have the necessary wisdom or not.

The Wisdom Seniors Possess

There is a natural wisdom we gain by God’s common grace as we experience life. Man is made in God’s image and bears the marks of humanity that naturally mature through life. Elders are to be respected simply because they are elders. A civilized society respects and honors its seniors, not because they need assistance, which they may, but because old age is the recognized accomplishment for living.

From maturity. David Jeremiah said, “I believe young people today are looking for an older generation of adults who can prove by their lifestyle that life is worth living, no matter how many candles light up the birthday cake” (Hopeful Parenting, p. 170). That’s where the Christian grandparent comes into the picture. In one way, we get to this place by living long enough, yet we may be here (at the grandparent stage) without being prepared to be here. It is not merely old age that gives wisdom but maturity,  a lifetime of walking with the Lord and living by His Word. Seniors are known for their long-term memory. They can go into a twenty minute history tour at the drop of a hat. The Christian grandparent ought to be so filled with biblical information and wisdom that he is ready and waiting to be asked.

From hindsight. Hindsight is not 100% but it is much clearer than foresight (in the simply human things of course). Seniors live with decades of experiences, many good and some not so good. To receive advice from someone who has experience of the situation is always better than advice from someone who doesn’t. The key is to be honest, loving, and humble. Grandchildren look to you for this reason. You have been there and they have not.

From difficulty. No one really likes difficulties. Trials are frustrating, costly, and even damaging. But Scripture tells us to count these difficulties with all joy (James 1:2). Why? Because these times create patience and wisdom, for which we’ve asked God many times (vs. 5). These grandchildren are about to make some of the most important decisions of their lives. I trust we know they are born again. But even a believer can choose the wrong friends, the wrong schooling and profession, or the wrong mate for life. There are lesser but important choices as well. Are we ready to guide that young one into a path of God’s will?

The Pitfalls Seniors Should Avoid

No one is more aware of the pitfalls of seniors than seniors. Old age is one of the situations you really don’t understand until you live it. Seniors have unique physical and financial challenges, issues of loneliness and self-image, and various fears that come with being vulnerable. However, believers understand that these are unavoidable issues in a fallen but divinely sovereign world. Many things could be listed but here are three important ones when thinking of our responsibility to children and grandchildren.

Don’t let down. Unless the rapture happens, 100% of us are going to die and that percentage cannot be changed. However, believers know that death is the physical-life penalty for sin. Paul called death “the last enemy” (1 Cor. 15:26) before our eternal life in heaven begins. Therefore we war against this enemy as we do with all other enemies because it is part of our stewardship. Psalm 92 speaks of the date-palm tree that lives over one hundred years and still bears fruit each season, “The righteous shall flourish like a palm tree . . . Those who are planted in the house of the Lord shall flourish in the courts of our God. They shall still bear fruit in old age; they shall be fresh and flourishing, to declare that the Lord is upright” (Psa. 92:13-15).

Don’t become worldly. Unfortunately, we never lose the old nature until death occurs. Our old-age sins may not be (though they can be) the same as youthful sins, but they can grow inward toward attitudes, anger, bitterness, or even rudeness. Tozer wrote, “O God, let me die rather than go on day by day living wrong. I do not want to become a careless, fleshly old man. Lord, I do not want my life to be extended if it would mean that I should cease to live right and fail in my mission to glorify you all my days” (Mornings with Tozer, May 31).

Don’t mock your own cause. I must confess that I laugh at those “old people” jokes because I see the reality in them and in myself. But I am also aware that we older saints have enough cultural baggage to carry without adding to the weight. We may laugh among ourselves but remember, our grandchildren hear those things from a different angle. Paul was aware of similar dangers when he wrote, “For I speak to you Gentiles; inasmuch as I am an apostle to the Gentiles, I magnify my ministry, if by any means I may provoke to jealousy those who are my flesh and save some of them” (Rom. 11:13-14). Our calling is our cause and now our calling is our old age. Wear it well.

Good Things Seniors Provide

It seems counter-cultural to say that seniors become more valuable as they get older, but there are significant ways in which this is true. Sure, we don’t have the physical attributes that are so admired in our culture, but we have qualities that the Bible says are very valuable.

Examples to children. “Listen to counsel and receive instruction, that you may be wise in your latter days” (Prov. 19:20). Your example to the next generations is your whole life and that life has culminated in the person you are now. Continue to be the person God led you to be even though the older example of it isn’t as popular as it used to be. The witness of it is powerful.

Unique ministries. “And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Cor. 12:9). The infirmity of older age can be used by God in great ways. You still have many ways to minister to both younger and older people. You are most effective with your own generation, and they desperately need your witness.

Effectual prayer. “So it was, when the days of feasting had run their course, that Job would send and sanctify them, and he would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all. For Job said, “It may be that my sons have sinned and cursed God in their hearts.” Thus Job did regularly” (Job 1:5). Seniors never become less effective in prayer, but only more so. It is the one area of ministry that continually grows greater because it doesn’t take physical strength, it takes spiritual strength, which you have abundantly. The Puritan John Flavel said, “Prayer honors providence and providence honors prayer. Providences have born the very signatures of prayer upon them” (Allen & Chester, The Glory of Grace: an introduction to the Puritans, p. 145). God will work in our children’s lives by His providence, and not without including your fervent prayers.