GPS – Busy House, New Arrivals

by Rick Shrader

Note: This series will consist of five phases: Created-Parenting, Pre-Parenting, Parenting, Post-Parenting, and Grand-Parenting. Each of these phases will have four sections.

Third Phase: Parenting (series articles 9-12)

Section One: Busy House-New Arrivals (article #9)

“Children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb is his reward” (Psalm 127:3). The whole subject of parenting comes to reality when that first child arrives. From this time forward the parenting stage does not end but it will take on various roles. However, actual parenting begins at this point. I call it the busy house because your house will never be as it was in those pre-parenting days. Kevin DeYoung wrote, “Our basic parenting philosophy is feed them, clothe them, love them, laugh with them, correct them, bring them to church, and try to stay alive” (Men and Women in the Church, 117).

The Value of Life

It is no secret that the value of life in our current society has hit a new low. In America alone we have killed over 50 million babies in the womb. Recent statistics also show that thousands of seniors’ lives are being prematurely ended each year by assisted suicide and various means of euthanasia.

In opposition to this, the Christian family has a profound respect for life. God created human beings on Day six of creation in His own image. Any time a child is conceived, the image of God is present from that moment until the last breath of life on earth, and then that life will go on eternally. Jesus Christ died for each human soul and that makes the soul precious. A few facts about life at conception are appropriate.

No life before conception. Human beings will live eternally into the future, but they did not live eternally in the past. The origin of the human soul has been a theological discussion for centuries. The “traducian” theory of the soul (tradux, Lat. for branch, root) seems to fit the biblical pattern. God does not create a new soul at conception. We receive our souls as well as the image of God through our parents and their parents. Genesis is plain about the first soul, “And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul” (Gen. 2:7). Eve received her soul and the image of God from Adam (“In the image of God He created him, male and female created He them,” Gen. 1:27) and their children received their souls and God’s image from them (Gen. 5:3). All potential life existed in Adam and Eve and has been passed on from them and succeeding fathers and mothers.

Life begins at conception. Since the life of the soul (and now its sin also) begins with the sexual union of a man and a woman, a soul with life exists at that moment. When the male sperm penetrates the female egg and fertilizes it,  new and unique DNA is present and species specific. Within 24 hours 46 male (XY) or 46 female (XX) chromosomes exist. New human life (soul) is present and in the image of God. This life deserves the rights and protection of all human life. The Son of God became a man by existing full term in Mary’s womb (without an earthly father). That little One was the eternal God, Who could not cease to exist.

All human life is connected. Though we use the term “race” to identify national and ethnic history, the Bible says that all human beings are of one blood. “And He has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth” (Acts 17:26). The Bible presents us all as present in Adam when he sinned (Rom. 5:12). The writer of Hebrews placed Levi in the loins of Abraham when Abraham met Melchizedek (Heb. 7:10). The name “Adam” comes from the Hebrew adam, meaning “mankind” (see Gen. 5:2, NKJV). This “natural” or traducian headship of the race fits the biblical data we have seen. The “human” race once consisted in one person, then two, then four, then a hundred, then a thousand, and so on. That embryo in the womb is a viable part of the human race.

The Decision for Children

The new couple has lived without children to this point. They may have not wanted children until now or perhaps they could not have children. However, they know that life is sacred and a child is a life-long responsibility.

The decision to have children. Our key verse says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD” (Psa. 127:3). Of Abraham, God said, I “gave him Isaac. To Isaac I gave Jacob and Esau” (Josh. 24:3-4). Though a man and his wife decide to have a child, we understand that all human life comes from God even though it is through our parents. God has said to the human race, “Be fruitful and multiply” (Gen. 1:28; 9:1). The young couple has made decisions also to fall in love, to marry, as well as to have children. These decisions have life-changing implications. Children will forever be their responsibility.

Permissible birth control. It is permissible for a Christian couple to wait on having children though they continue their conjugal relationship. What is not permitted is the termination of a conception once that moment has happened. That would be murder of a life made in God’s image. Since life begins at conception by the union of a man and woman, life is not present before that. Some religions (Catholicism, for example) teach that preventing a conception is sin, perhaps because they believe created souls must have a body or God’s purpose is thwarted. Most Protestants have believed that non-abortifacient birth control is not biblically prohibited.

Andreas Köstenberger concludes, “It does not follow that in every particular sexual encounter the couple must refrain from the use of contraception. The sexual encounter in marriage retains a high value for the purposes of union, pleasure, fidelity, and so on, even in the event that a couple uses contraception as a part of their family planning” (God, Marriage, and Family, p. 122).

Life in the womb. It is an exciting time when the wife says, “I’m pregnant.” Pre-parenting has now become parenting. Plans begin to be made, anticipation of a boy or a girl, the fun of revealing the pregnancy to family and friends, all make the next few months a great joy. Ultrasounds can now reveal the baby’s sex within 10 to 20 weeks. That’s when mother begins painting everything pink or father begins buying baseball gloves. But most of all, anticipation of a child, girl or boy, fills the home with love and  thankfulness.

When Difficulties Arise

It is often the case that a couple wants to have children but the pregnancy isn’t happening. Hannah and Rachel are examples of godly women who wanted children and couldn’t. In her older age, Sarah laughed at the suggestion she might still have children. God’s answer to her was, “Is anything too hard for God?” and to Rachel God simply “opened her womb” (Gen. 30:22).

When having children is not possible. Children are truly a heritage from God, but in a broken world unwanted situations happen. The inability for a couple to have children shouldn’t be taken as any kind of punishment from God. Many couples receive that as God’s will for them and live their lives without children. Sometimes, as Paul reminds single believers (1 Cor. 7:25-40) that in the present distress it may be better because of what God knows is ahead.  Sometimes children come later than normal and husband and wife are humorously referred to as Abraham and Sarah. In the biblical cases of Sarah, Hannah, and Elizabeth, children in later life turned out to be some of the greatest servants of God.

Permissible alternatives. The problem of infertility is not new, but solutions to it abound in the modern medical world. Some solutions are ethical and biblical and many are not. The problem of infertility could lie with the husband or the wife. Medical procedures such as artificial insemination of the husband (AIH) or intrauterine insemination of the wife (IUI), and a few forms of each, may be acceptable to Christian couples. There are many unethical forms of insemination that either harm or manipulate the embryo or bring a third party into the process and violate the boundaries of marriage that God has established.

Gene Edward Veith, Jr. summarized, “Again, this began with the laudable effort to help infertile couples bear children, a worthy goal, especially in a culture oriented to preventing birth. . . But then fertility treatments were devised that violate the one-flesh union of marriage and the sanctity of embryonic life.” (p. 118). Good Christian books on ethics will give biblical explanation and advice in this area. A few of these would be: Andreas Köstenberger, God, Marriage, and Family; Gene Vieth, Jr., Post Christian; Norman Geisler, Christian Ethics; and John and Paul Feinberg, Ethics for a Brave New World. All of these have helpful sections on the ethics of reproduction.

Adoption as an option. Adoption is not only a biblical ideal but a real solution to the problem of infertility. It has become one of the ways believers can fight back against abortion, not to mention helping alleviate the world-wide tragedy of abandoned children (through no fault of their own). In the Old Testament Moses was adopted by Pharoah’s daughter; Esther was adopted by her uncle Mordecai; Jacob adopted Gad and Asher, Dan and Naphtali who were born of maidservants. In the New Testament Jesus was adopted by Joseph and every believer is adopted by God (Rom. 8:15, 23; 9:4; Gal. 4:5; Eph. 1:5). We are all “sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus” (Gal. 3:28). Therefore, a wonderful and biblical solution for the Christian couple who cannot have children by natural conception, is to follow the biblical example of adoption. These “orphans,” then, are very likely to become children of God themselves. By this we also fulfill the great commission.