Elisabeth Elliot wrote, \u201cSingle life may be only a stage of a life\u2019s journey, but even a stage is a gift. God may replace it with another gift, but the receiver accepts His gifts with thanksgiving. This gift for this day\u201d (Let Me Be a Woman<\/i>).<\/p>\n
A universal situation<\/span>. We all start out in life single. We are born into a family situation to teach us how to live with other people. Our pre-adult years allow us to observe married life and later make a life\u2019s choice ourselves. Most will choose marriage and family life and fewer will not. The single life comes to people in various ways. Some will choose the single life permanently, some will experience the pain of divorce and become single again, some will lose their spouse to illness or tragedy at various ages of life, and older married people will lose their spouse and find themselves alone at the end of life. There are more \u201csingles\u201d around than we realize. However, the decision to remain single for life is unique among these.<\/p>\n Biblical examples<\/span>. Jesus was single and Peter was married. We know Paul as single though some believe he could have been married at one time. In defense of his single tent-making ministry, Paul said, \u201cDo we have no right to take along a believing wife, as do also the other apostles, the brothers of the Lord, and Cephas?\u201d (1 Cor. 9:5). Yet Paul remained single, writing, \u201cI suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress\u2014that it is good for a man to remain as he is: Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife\u201d (1 Cor. 7:26-27).<\/p>\n Singleness as a gift<\/span>. Paul again writes, \u201cFor I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am\u201d (1 Cor. 7:7-8). Jesus also said, \u201cThere are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of God\u2019s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it\u201d (Matt. 19:12). God may give this \u201cgift\u201d to a few men or women, yet it does not make one superior or inferior. It is in many ways a difficult path but one that can hold many rewards in the Christian life.<\/p>\n Christopher Ash wrote, \u201cI know which \u2018gift\u2019 I have by a very simple test: if I am married, I have the gift of marriage; if I am not married, I have the gift of being unmarried\u201d (Married for God<\/i>). Ash\u2019s point is simply that God has given us the circumstance we\u2019re presently in and, until He changes it, this is His will for now. However, though a married person should not seek to be unmarried, an unmarried person may indeed seek God\u2019s will about being married.<\/p>\n Single as an option<\/span>. Paul wrote, \u201cHe who is unmarried cares for the things that belong to the Lord\u2014how he may please the Lord\u201d (1 Cor. 7:32). Paul is not placing one above the other, he is merely stating the facts. A single person is free from marriage responsibilities and can do things the married person cannot, or, as in verse 35, \u201cthat you may serve the Lord without distraction.\u201d But he also warns, \u201cNevertheless he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will, and has so determined in his heart that he will keep his virgin, does well\u201d (vs. 37). That is, for the Lord\u2019s service he will not marry his virgin girlfriend. A preferable view on \u201chis virgin\u201d would be \u201chis betrothed\u201d (ESV, NIV, HBSB note), rather than \u201cdaughter<\/i>\u201d (always in italics). The Greek word \u201cvirgin\u201d (parthenon<\/i>) refers simply to a single person as in verses 25 and 34 (see a longer explanation of this issue in Gordon Fee in First Corinthians<\/i>). The single person must determine that he (or she) has the will-power to remain unmarried and can offer his or her celibacy as a sacrifice to God in undistracted service (vs. 35).<\/p>\n Marriage as an option<\/span>. Paul also wrote, \u201cBut he who is married cares about the things of the world\u2014how he may please his wife\u201d (1 Cor. 11:33). Here again Paul is simply stating the facts. Most of us chose to be married and serve the Lord with a believing spouse (\u201conly in the Lord\u201d 7:39). This advantage in life is well explained in Ephesians 5 as a life that mirrors the Bridegroom and His bride the church. As there are advantages to the single life, there are advantages to the married life. We may remind ourselves again that we start out single in life and may end up single. God allows for remarriage after the death of a spouse for the very reason that a partner in marriage is a good thing (Rom. 7:2). If singleness is not your gift, \u201cLet him do what he wishes; he does not sin; let them marry\u201d (1 Cor. 7:36).<\/p>\n Seeking God\u2019s will<\/span>. Can a single person ask God which path he or she should take in life? I believe so. \u201cHe who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord\u201d (Prov. 18:22). John MacArthur said, \u201cIf it is God\u2019s will for you to be married, he will provide a spouse in His perfect timing. If it is not His will, He will give you grace to live a single life\u201d (The Divorce Dilemma<\/i>). These decisions can\u2019t be made too early in life. It will take the young adult years, when the temptations in life increase, to see what your gift may be. If you are asking whether to remain single, your question to God will be \u201cwhat?\u201d If you are asking whether to become married, your question to God will be \u201cwho?\u201d Paul concluded by writing, \u201cAnd this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction\u201d (I Cor. 7:35).<\/p>\n God said, \u201cIt is not good that man should be alone\u201d (Gen. 2:18). This was for several reasons: we need help in life; we desire companionship; but also because God made us sexual creatures with the physical ability to reproduce. In fact, God commanded Adam and Eve to multiply and fill the earth. Yet, because we find that singleness may be a gift from God, it could be your desire to live without the advantages of married life.<\/p>\n The headship of Christ<\/span>. A marriage is a combination of the husband as the head and the wife as submissive to her husband. But a single person has only himself or herself. It is important therefore to remember that we all have Jesus Christ as our Head, and that we are all submissive to Him (1 Cor. 11:1-3). A woman who chooses not to marry must rely independently on her submissiveness to Christ without the advantage of a husband as her intermediate head. Elisabeth Elliot, again, wrote that though a woman is made\u00a0 to be a wife, \u201cthe special vocation of the virgin is to surrender herself for service to her Lord and for the life of the world.\u201d (\u201cThe Essence of Femininity\u201d).<\/p>\n Purity to Christ and one\u2019s future<\/span>. Whether a single woman or man, and whether single by choice or situation, the single person must be pure in body and spirit. A human being must eat and sleep, but a human being doesn\u2019t have to have a sexual life. This is why singleness is a gift from God so that a person has the \u201cgiftedness\u201d to refrain from those desires. This includes the proper desires toward the opposite sex and the illicit desires toward the same sex (contrary to some today who argue for that attraction). God cannot bless, lead, or work through any person who is not pure in this regard, whether married or single. \u201cNow she who is really a widow, and left alone, trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives. And these things command, that they may be blameless\u201d (1 Tim. 5:5-7).<\/p>\nGod\u2019s Will for Singles.<\/strong><\/h5>\n
Set Apart in Singleness.<\/strong><\/h5>\n
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