{"id":1075,"date":"1998-02-27T02:52:44","date_gmt":"1998-02-27T02:52:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/aletheiabaptistministries.org\/Blog\/february-qloving-the-unlovelyq\/"},"modified":"2014-02-02T02:24:19","modified_gmt":"2014-02-02T02:24:19","slug":"february-qloving-the-unlovelyq","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/aletheiabaptistministries.org\/Blog\/february-qloving-the-unlovelyq\/","title":{"rendered":"Loving The Unlovely"},"content":{"rendered":"

I suspect that many of us, in our quest after holiness, have imagined that being filled with the love of God would flood our consciousness with a kind of contemplative rapture, or a sense of infinite satisfaction.\u00a0 That is why many have developed a \u2018holiness\u2019 turned inward instead of outward; mystical instead of practical; self-centered rather than God-centered; sentimental rather than evangelistic; and egoistic rather than altruistic.\u00a0 The love of which John means when he writes, \u2018God is love,\u2019 is the most self-forgetting otherism in the universe, and when it is indeed \u2018shed\u2019 within us (Rom. 5:5) it lifts us right out of ourselves into a magnanimous solicitude for the well-being of others.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

J. Sidlow Baxter1<\/sup><\/p>\n

\n<\/blockquote>\n

All of my life I have heard the phrase, \u201cIt\u2019s hard to love the unlovely.\u201d\u00a0 It is not only hard, it is almost impossible, at the least very difficult, to love in the sense of agape love.\u00a0 What to us is unlovely has nothing to reward our effort and therefore can hardly solicit our love.<\/p>\n

In his famous work on love, C.S. Lewis described the four Greek words defining love.2<\/sup> The first three are human and demand a return on our investment as well as containing \u201ccongenital maladies.\u201d\u00a0 Lewis calls them \u201cneed-loves.\u201d\u00a0 Storge <\/strong>(Rom 1:31, \u201cnatural affection\u201d) is parental or family love, driven by the need to belong as well as the need to be loved.\u00a0 Loving the unlovely fulfills a deep need within us to belong and to nurture.<\/p>\n

Eros <\/strong>(Esther 2:17, LXX) is the sensual or \u201cerotic\u201d desire.\u00a0 It can be expressed properly in marriage, improperly outside of marriage, but is always need-oriented.\u00a0 Eros is simply the Greek counterpart to the Roman Cupid and was never imagined to be an innocent little imp spreading candy and good-will.\u00a0 In eros, the giver may devour and abuse the unlovely for its own sake.<\/p>\n

Philia <\/strong>is friendship, a give-and-take sort of relationship.\u00a0 It is the biblical word for \u201ckiss\u201d because it so naturally pictures the necessary partnership.\u00a0 Friendship does not exist where only one companion makes an effort to give.\u00a0 Whereas eros is pictured face-to-face, philia is pictured side-by-side, two walking in mutual agreement.\u00a0 In friendship, the unlovely may not measure up.<\/p>\n

Agape <\/strong>is the only \u201cgift-love.\u201d\u00a0 It is wholly disinterested in itself and desires only the best for the beloved.\u00a0 But in sinful humans, this selflessness is impossible without a divine transfusion.<\/p>\n

Now whether anyone agrees with or likes Lewis\u2019 description of the first three loves, all are agreed as to the divine nature of agape.\u00a0\u00a0 Of human loves, the Lord Jesus declared, \u201cGreater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends\u201d (John 15:13).\u00a0 The Apostle Paul echoed the same by writing, \u201cFor scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die\u201d (Rom 5:7).\u00a0 There is something to be gained by dying for a friend, a country or a family member.\u00a0 We gain back the companionship, the freedom or the filial relationship that our soul craves.\u00a0 But Paul\u2019s amazing point follows, \u201cBut God commendeth his love (agape) toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us . . . when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son\u201d (8,10).\u00a0 Agape alone can give when there is an impossibility to receive anything in return.<\/p>\n

Agape has none of the maladies of the other three loves. It finds its expression (if not its very history3<\/sup>) in the theology of the New Testament.\u00a0 Kyle Yates wrote, \u201cNo stronger cord can ever bind us than the cords of love so clearly seen as we look upon the incarnation, the life, and the death of our Lord and Saviour.\u201d4<\/sup> Then why are there so many who refuse the agape love of the Savior?\u00a0 Because the unlovely does not want to be loved with agape love.<\/p>\n

As strange as this sounds, it is not only true but perfectly consistent with our theology.\u00a0 Man is not just a sinner, but a selfish sinner.\u00a0 The root of his rejection of salvation is his unfailing insistence that there is something worthwhile in him that God won\u2019t condemn.\u00a0 That is why he gravitates to the three human \u201cneed-loves.\u201d\u00a0 In each of these someone rewards him, or at least responds to him so as to acknowledge his worth.\u00a0 But agape, by its very nature, says frankly, \u201cyou are unlovely and have nothing of worth.\u00a0 That is why I am your only hope.\u201d\u00a0 While no other love is capable of such selfless expression, the sinner is offended by its frankness and its declaration of his worthless condition.\u00a0 Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote, \u201cBut the love of Christ for the sinner in itself is the condemnation of sin, is his expression of extreme hatred of sin.\u201d5<\/sup><\/p>\n

In a favorite gospel song, the words say, \u201cThere is not a brother, sister, friend or mother, loves the way that Jesus can.\u201d\u00a0 That is exactly right.\u00a0 However, the following words miss the mark: \u201cJesus wants <\/em>to love you, there is none above you, you are precious in his sight.\u201d\u00a0 That is what a sinner would like to believe; that there is something in him worthy in God\u2019s sight.\u00a0 If that were true, divine justice would be enough.\u00a0 The \u201cgood news\u201d is that God\u2019s agape love does <\/em>love the sinner because it needs no reciprocation, it does not merely want <\/em>to love him as if it needed to be loved in return.<\/p>\n

As believers, having received such agape love, we are asked the near impossible task of displaying it in the world around us.\u00a0 Being Adam\u2019s children, it is not our nature to live selflessly, even as Christians.\u00a0 The sanctification process going on within us is teaching us to practice the agape, so contrary to our thinking, that we reluctantly received.\u00a0 It is still very difficult.\u00a0 So often our expressions of love, our worship experiences, our stand for truth, have selfish strings attached that bring back something congratulatory and satisfying to our ego.<\/p>\n

The Apostle Paul said, \u201cabove all these things put on charity (agape), which is the bond of perfectness\u201d (Col 3:14), the goal of our sanctification.\u00a0 L.S. Chafer said, \u201cA human heart cannot produce love, but it can experience it.\u00a0 To have a heart that feels the compassion of God is to drink of the wine of heaven.\u201d6<\/sup><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
Notes:<\/address>\n
1. J. Sidlow Baxter, A New Call To Holiness<\/em> (Grand Rapids:\u00a0 Zondervan, 1977) 111.<\/address>\n
2. C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves <\/em>(New York: HBJ, 1988).<\/address>\n
3.\u00a0 Kittel calls its etymology \u201cuncertain\u201d and its meaning before the NT \u201cweak.\u201d (Theological Dictionary, I, p. 36).<\/address>\n
4. Kyle M. Yates, Preaching From The Psalms<\/em> (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1948) 168.<\/address>\n
5. Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost Of Discipleship<\/em> (New York:\u00a0 Touchstone Books, 1995) 184.<\/address>\n
6. L.S. Chafer, He That Is Spiritual <\/em>(Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1972) 48.<\/address>\n
\u00a0<\/address>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I suspect that many of us, in our quest after holiness, have imagined that being filled with the love of God would flood our consciousness with a kind of contemplative rapture, or a sense of infinite satisfaction.\u00a0 That is why many have developed a \u2018holiness\u2019 turned inward instead of outward; mystical instead of practical; self-centered […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[123],"tags":[173,175],"class_list":["post-1075","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","tag-grace","tag-love"],"yoast_head":"\nLoving The Unlovely - Aletheia Baptist Ministries<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/aletheiabaptistministries.org\/Blog\/february-qloving-the-unlovelyq\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Loving The Unlovely - 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